Latest on twitter:
(via forhereyesonly)
Why does bath water always look so gross in porn photography?
Teenage runaways aren’t very clean.
The problem with making a porn version of X-Men is that Mystique’s make-up is really more complex that you’d think. Also it’s not jizz-proof.
It easy to see from the early footage why the BIG DICKED STUDS WITH ADD series never took off
Little-known fact: Terminators hatch from eggs.
This is an online friend of mine’s hot little butthole. Makes you just want to dive right in, no?
The Latin American concept of machismo has its plus and minuses
(via planettampon)
oh max you make me feel like a woman all the time
“That’s right bitch,” said Mr Danza “tell little Tony Who’s the Boss.”
(via classicporn)
Why no, it ISN’T that kind of party and would you kindly remove your dick from my pudding cup?
(via boatfullofdicks)
This is what it looks like when a snake eats its own tail.
(via realprincess)
My Xbox is not the only thing with a red ring of death.
Not all pedafiles own vans or ice cream trucks.
Some drive black Jettas.
The sex-toy equivalent of the Penny Farthing bicycle.
(via wickedknickers)
Shouldn’t you be inside a crashed helicopter getting ready to fuck Frederick Forrest?
How